Whod you bang
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
