you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
