if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
