i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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