After last night, I could never be a politician.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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