make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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