Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the day after is always just damage control
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
