Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
