Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
whose parrot is this?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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