Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
