think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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