So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
