ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want to have your abortion
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
