are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
