hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
These tits shall not be calmed
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
