i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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