when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
