she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
