im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
well you can't waste a boner
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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