Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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