Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
