Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
