You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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