I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
