hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize