I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
