i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
