so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
