I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
