is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
