your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
