i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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