roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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