Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
