based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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