Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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