Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
