Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
