If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he puts the penis in happiness.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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