I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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