This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
