Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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