Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize