ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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