Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
