Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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