He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
