I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
