i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
