I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
