Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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