walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need water and some morals
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
