I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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