She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
