She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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