On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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