Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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