he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
