The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
