So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
