i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
