hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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