The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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