Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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