Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
