i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
